I was sitting on my grandmother's front porch yesterday with my grandmother, my mother, my daughters, my niece and my sister. 3 generations of women. All three generations totally different, but all three generations totally the same.
I happened to look over at my mother who is recovering from a mastectomy, she was smiling, and looked happy. My mother is beautiful when she smiles, her whole face lights up and you can't help but smile when you see her happy. She was sitting proud on the swing next to my grandmother. It is painfully obvious that she has had a mastectomy, and anyone that didn't know her would automatically see that. In fact some less polite individuals would probably stare.
I then looked up at my older sister Loren. She is strikingly beautiful with blonde hair and blue eyes. She used to joke to my mother about not passing down her large breast size. My mom would always laugh and tell her that she had plenty to share! Loren had breast augmentation done a couple of years ago. That started a whole new round of jokes!
I looked over at my oldest daughter Alex, she is the smallest out of all the cousins. Short and skinny, with more confidence in herself than anyone I've ever seen. She's pretty and she knows it!
When she was younger she told me that she wanted breasts like Boo-Boo (nickname for my mother) and not like mine! We still laugh about that one.
I looked over at my daughter Jordyn and my niece Maddy. They favor each other a lot. Both blonde, with big blue eyes. Maddy looks like my sister and Jordyn looks like me. They are only a few months apart in age, people thought they were twins when they were babies. At their age they are still trying to figure out just who they are.
I sit thinking about my self. Blonde hair and blue eyes like my sister. I'm not loaded with self confidence like her and my daughter, but I don't look down on the way I look. I favor my mother, and my sister, and when I was younger everyone said I looked like my grandmother. People have always asked if Loren and I were twins. I also used to joke like my sister with my mother about breast size.
Now as I sit with all 3 generations of women, everything is different. So many things have changed.
My sister still drives me crazy, and I'm sure she'd say the same about me. We still get asked if we are twins. (although I don't think we look that much alike!) But it doesn't bother us too much anymore. Jordyn and Maddy no longer look like twins! They have their own styles and their personalities are as different as night and day.
My grandmother, recently widowed, still worries that we are all ok. She still calls to check on us if she knows that we have been driving in the rain. But now we also worry that she is ok. And we also call to check on her to make sure she is doing alright.
My mother, still smiles all the time, still worries about her kids being happy and still full of energy. My mother is still proud of all her children and grandchildren. She is still my best friend. Still beautiful to all of us. But now she has been diagnosed with cancer. Now she is missing a breast.
My sister and I no longer joke about how mom didn't pass down the breast size to us. We are now hoping that there was no cancer causing gene passed down. Alex no longer thinks that she wants large breasts like her Boo-Boo, she is hoping that she has 2 healthy breasts like her mother. Loren is no longer worried about how her breasts might look to others, she is worried about how they might look on a mammogram. Maddie and Jordyn, still trying to figure out who they are, may be wondering what would happen if they had cancer. How would they look? What would their friends think?
As we sit on grandma's porch, like we have for years, so many things are different, so much has changed. Yet the important things are still the same.
Mom's still smiling. We are still together and three generations of beautiful woman are still laughing together on grandma's front porch.
