Well it's been a while since I posted anything.
Guess I've been really busy. It's been an insanely crazy month.
On November 16, 2010 at around 9:00, my grandpa left us.
I don't think the word "died" is appropriate because I know that he is more "alive" right now than he has been in a long time.
He had been in and out of the hospital a few times with pneumonia and other issues. He had a pace maker put in and was put on a feeding tube in June. We thought that when he got out of the hospital that he would get better and stronger and continue on like normal.
We were wrong.
We watched as he went from one of the strongest, most independent men that we knew to a man that relied on his wife for his daily care. He needed help with feedings and had the great-grandchildren help sometimes. But his spirit never wavered. He told us almost everyday that he was feeling good and going to get better.
On November 4, 2010 he was put back in the hospital for an infection. They discovered early on that he was suffering again with pneumonia. I think that all of us thought this would clear up fast and that he'd be home again soon.
Again we were wrong.
We watched as he continued to get worse. He grew weak and was unable to speak. We communicated by writing notes. We watched as my grandmother stood by his bed all day and slept by his side every night. Still we all held on to the hope that the doctors would be able help him. Even after the doctors were telling us to "be ready to make important decisions", we held out hope that he was strong enough to pull through.
The great grandkids made sure his room was full of pictures and get well cards.
After one of the tests he had he was brought back to his room and was still really groggy from the medicine. He looked at my sister and pointed to his pictures and said " I know I am back to my room when I see all my pictures"
He made sure we hung all of them right where he could see them.
Then on Saturday November 13, one of the Dr's came. He told me that if the medicine didn't work soon that he would start to decline. I think that was the first time I thought that maybe my grandpa wasn't going to make it.
The next day I called to check in on him in the morning and my mother told me that the Dr had come and told them that the medicine didn't work. There was nothing more that they could do. We were told that he may not make it through the night or that he may hold on another week. I got to the hospital and relived mom and grandma to go get some lunch. Then the priest came to give grandpa Last Rights. I held his hand as the priest prayed and performed the Last Rights. I prayed with him and knew that the end was near. I can not tell you the emotions that ran through me as I stood by his bed during this. I felt sad, desperate, scared and honored all at the same time. I know how much my grandfather believed in God and how much he followed his Catholic Religion. Even though I am not Catholic, to be with him during this last sacred act was truly an honor, because I knew what it meant to him.
The family gathered in his room and spent the next few days with him. My grandmother and mother stayed there at night with him and we all took turns during the day so that he was never alone.
On Tuesday at around 9:00 he slipped away from this world and on to the next. My grandmother was by his side when he left.
The next few days were the hardest days that I've ever had to experience.
You know that everyone has to leave sometime, but it doesn't make it easy to deal with.
I never realized how many people he had touched until I saw all the people coming to pay their respects. It was heart warming and amazing. I think that seeing that somehow made it a little easier.
The funeral was beautiful. Father Andreas was one of grandpa's dear friends and was very sincere during the service. Acknowledging his children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. He was absolutely wonderful.
It's still soon after his death and I think we are mostly still in shock. I know it will get easier, but for now it's really hard. It doesn't even seem real.
One thing I will always remember is him asking me every time I went to visit him in the hospital "Is it a boy or a girl?"
I had told him that if Micah and I had a girl that she would be named after him.
He was rooting for a girl of course.
I never thought that I'd have this baby with out grandpa having a chance to meet it. And I am very sad that my baby will not be given the chance to know such a wonderful man.
I love you grandpa, and I'll miss you everyday.
